we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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