Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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