first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
