she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
