she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
