toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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