Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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