You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize