she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
