need another drink. this is the easiest way
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
