yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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