just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
