her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
time to smoke my breakfast
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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