All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
