im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
time to smoke my breakfast
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize