he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
