I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
