in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
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