How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize