Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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