And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
