if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
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