watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
