grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
