I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
as a side note pls kill me
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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