and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
