I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
