The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
