i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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