My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
