just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
