So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
