dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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