that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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