You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize