i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
high people should be assigned attendants
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
