I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Edward fifth and chaser hands
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize