If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Congratulations! We have a period
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize