and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
