i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
