Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
