garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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