I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize