So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
