Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
