Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i just sent this text using only my big toe
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
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