You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
soo... how was my night?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize