How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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