Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
