There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
