Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I think my vagina is haunted
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize