The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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