Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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