wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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