Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize