Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
