i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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