Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
