all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
