while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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