She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
