it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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