yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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