i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
